Love Generation

It's been a while, but it's time to add a song to my cancer-killing playlist. I've loved this song for a long time -- its energy and super-positive message is infectious -- but the other day, as I was singing it at the top of my lungs while driving with Will and Tim, I realized how important it is in my cancer-killing adventures.

The lyrics that stuck with me -- and made Bob Sinclar's "Love Generation" a cancer-killing playlist song -- are simple. But when they are said over and over again, and to the beat of the song, they are quite powerful.

Don't worry about a thing

It's gonna be alright

Don't worry about a thing

It's gonna be alright

Don't worry about a thing

It's gonna be alright

Gonna be, gonna, gonna, gonna be alright

Take it from me: a cancer warrior faces his or her fair share of anxiety. The cancer warrior knows full well that the questions I'm about to list has certainly popped into his or her head, some questions recurring more than others.

Is treatment going to work?

Is chemo going to make me sick?

Am I going to be in pain?

Am I going to die from this?

Cancer is not just a disease that impacts us physically. Cancer can be a powerfully debilitating thing from an emotional, psychological standpoint. The fear, the dread, the anxiety can set us back in the fight against the disease before we even begin. There are many questions but no real answers when we receive a cancer diagnosis. We trust our doctors, but we know that they can't guarantee anything. We believe in our treatment and we hope it will work, but we don't know for sure. We trust that we'll survive, but we won't know if it's true until much later.

More than anything, we want to know that yes, everything is going to be alright.

In my personal battle with cancer, the thing I'm most proud of is not the way I've changed my life with a fierce dedication to diet, fitness, acupuncture, meditation, and sleep. It's not how I've physically survived when the cancer in my belly was hell-bent on ensuring my certain death. It's not even how I danced in the halls of Washington Hospital Center just a week or so after being sliced open for an 11 hour surgery.

It's how I've won the battle over anxiety and fear. Without stretching the truth at all, I can honestly say that I never think of those questions I listed above anymore. It's not like I ever used to spend much time worrying, but I will admit that every now and then -- especially when I was first diagnosed -- one of those questions would find its way into my head for a minute or two. I'd quickly send the thought packing, but still. I would think the thought.

But now, never. I know treatment is going to work, I know chemo is not going to make me sick, I know that I'm not going to be in pain, and I know -- with every fiber in my being -- that I am not going to die from this. How did I achieve this mindset? I don't know. A mixture of optimism, belief in myself, and -- to be quite honest -- experience. I've sailed through 17 rounds of chemo and two surgeries, and I'm a better, stronger, healthier, and happier person because of it. That kind of experience, when added to my naturally positive attitude, can only lead to the genuine and unwavering confidence that I'm now enjoying. Stage IV colon cancer isn't going to stop or take my life. Instead, it made my life better. Much better.

Like the song says, I don't worry about a thing because it's gonna be alright. And that noticeable lack of anxiety has made this journey all the more fulfilling.