Getting Better Is Hard Work

Although I thoroughly beat down cancer during my 11 hour “pick it out/pour it in” surgery and despite the fact I’m feeling better each day, I must tell you one thing: getting better is hard work. Nursing the wounds, adjusting to my transformed body, and nourishing myself with sufficient food and drink has been somewhat of a challenge, and it’s worth mentioning especially for those who might go through this surgery or a similar one.

Getting better -- and by getting better, I mean bouncing back to full strength -- is not a walk in the park. It’s more like a brisk jog through the park on a particularly chilly day. One of those jogs that burns your lungs a little bit. I’m not trying to play to your sympathies at all -- heck, I’m still in a park. It’s just not one of those sauntering walks where you smell the flowers and soak up the sun and wander aimlessly. I have a goal and an aim, and I’m busting my butt to get to it.

The first challenge is dealing with food. When I first got out of the hospital, I didn’t have much of an appetite at all. A few things sounded tasty to me, but once I had a couple of bites of said tasty things, I was stuffed. I could also go hours and hours without feeling hungry, so eating was much more of a chore than it’s ever been before. As a result, I’ve lost some weight -- about 11 pounds.

Patience is key here. As the days go by, things will and have improved. My appetite is building, my desire for a wider range of foods is strengthening, and I know that in a matter of weeks, I’ll be putting good solid weight back on my beastly frame. I have no doubt that when I get to the gym -- a goal I have reserved for the week after next, after my sutures come out -- I will start to build my body back, and build it up even better this time. I’m at peace with the fact that I just can’t eat a lot, and my muscles are shrinking a bit as a result. I’ve probably still got bigger guns than a lot of folks, so I’m not too distressed.

The second big challenge is managing these wounds. The only real discomfort I get from them is when I can feel them. They don’t throb, there’s no stinging pain, and there’s no leakage of fluid from any of these battle scars. But sometimes, I can just feel the wounds and the scabs that have grown around them, and only then do I realize the gravity of what happened to me just a few weeks ago. I gritted my teeth through quite the physical ordeal, and now I’m left with the nagging discomfort of those soon-to-be scars.

And finally, going to the bathroom. You know I always focus on pooping, so why not mention it now? Things are not the way they were in the bathroom arena, and my body is slowly -- slowly -- getting back to normal. Going number two is not a mindless, easy task after the “pick it out/pour it in” surgery -- it takes patience, enduring of temporary gas pains all throughout the gut, and time. It gets a little annoying when nature calls at 6am and all I want to do is sleep but I have to spend 20 minutes in the bathroom. This, too -- like my bowel movements -- shall pass.

The fact that these are the only slight discomforts I’m feeling after the colossal physical endeavor makes me feel incredibly fortunate. If this is all that I have to deal with after conquering cancer, I’m beyond game for it. My shoes are laced up and I’m jogging through that park. But I do look forward to that stroll soon.