Ready to Write Again

When I first learned of my diagnosis, I knew I wanted to openly and candidly share my experiences -- to connect with family and friends and readers, to help others with and without health challenges, and frankly, because I knew I'd feel more comfortable being very public about my battle with "the cancer" than if I kept it quiet. So I started writing this blog. I also started writing a book that delves into more detail about my life pre- and post-diagnosis. The working title of the book is "The Year I Got Really Healthy…And Found Out I Was Really Sick: WunderGlo's Battle With (And Beat Down of) Cancer." It's a bit of a mouthful, but I like it. Anyway, it's only a working title, so let's not get too critical.

I've always been inspired to write my daily blog entries. Even on days I'm feeling a little headachy and tired from chemo, even when my body was attached to numerous tubes in the hospital, and even when I'm on one of my many adventures around the country. Sharing my life with you, my dear readers, is always satisfying. 

Writing the book has been satisfying, too. It's a different, more narrative style of writing, and more focused on the nitty gritty details of my battle. I can really delve deep into my emotions and thoughts throughout every step of the way, which is actually a great way for me to reflect on my experiences and the lessons I've learned. And writing an entire book from start to finish requires dedication and hard work -- two things from which I've never shied away.  

But I have a little confession. Until a couple of days ago, I hadn't touched the book since the middle of January. Obviously, I was a little busy on February 3rd (the day of the "pick it out/pour it in" surgery) and during the two weeks I spent at Washington Hospital Center, but I've had plenty of time to get back on the horse and resume writing about my cancer-killing adventures. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wondered why I'd put the book aside, but I didn't panic. I knew I'd come back to it. I just didn't know when.

Now, I'm back in book writing mode and feeling very fulfilled. And I think I figured out why I didn't really want to write up until now. Despite my great progress and great health, I was still occupied with my post-op and chemo challenges. When you're currently in the midst of feeling weak or you can go an entire day without wanting to eat, you've got your hands full in the present moment and reflecting on months past through writing isn't really a possibility. You need to get through that current moment and jump over that current hurdle before you can even think about sitting down and writing about something you went through months ago.

But now, I'm back to writing. Another sign that I've turned a corner and I'm moving full steam ahead to the finish line.