Not Worried

Well, folks, tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow I find out if that pesky fluid that was drained from near my left lung on Tuesday is a side effect from my surgery, an infection of some sort, or "the cancer" making a repeat appearance.

I know you probably don't believe me (come on, when have I ever lied to you?!), but I'm not worried. Not at all.

Obviously, I'd like less chemo in my life. Clearly, I'd love to get this port out of my chest so I can really mix it up at my basketball tournament next month.

But, really, I'm not worried about "the cancer" at all. 

It seems to me that the worst thing cancer does to people is defeat their spirits. It makes them feel like they can't achieve what they want, like they can't live the life they've always dreamed of, like they can't move forward with their plans. I simply refuse to let cancer do this to me.

No matter what, I'm staying at O'Melveny. No matter what, I'm going to write my book and work on my Foundation and play in my basketball tournament. No matter what, I'm going to continue to love life and all of its beautiful elements. Nothing will stop me from celebrating my days, from chugging my green juice, from swimming lap after lap, from bench pressing 120 pounds, and from loving the people and the things that I love. Nothing will stop me from singing in the car at the top of my lungs, from taking DJ lessons, from laughing my butt off with friends, and from cherishing time with family. No matter what, Dr. Lenz is still the best oncologist ever and we will have a plan of attack to get my health back to 100%. No matter what, I will continue to fight and thrive.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow like any other day. And I’m loving today, as usual.