Ready.

Well, this is it. The night before the big day. I've registered at the hospital, did my pre-surgery testing (EKG, blood work, chest x-ray), had a great chat with Ilse, and prepped my bowels with a delightful HalfLightly drink that cleaned me out pretty thoroughly. I've received dozens and dozens (and dozens) of well wishes from family and friends, spent the day with my three nurses and my cousins and Rhett, and I've been cuddling with my pup Winston for the last couple of hours.

I'm feeling fantastic. Strong, calm, happy. And ready. More than ready.

Tonight, I feel filled with courage. I've always drawn my courage from my family, the incredibly strong people that surround me.

Tonight, I'm thinking about my great-grandmother, who fled from her home in Mexico during the Mexican Revolution in 1913. She struck out for the U.S. on foot, alone, and wearing her brother's clothes so she could avoid  unwanted attention from Pancho Villa's soldiers. She got here safely, had 13 children, outlived three husbands, and lived to the ripe old age of 90.

I'm thinking about my grandmother, who endured various health problems, beating the odds every time, and finding time to work and raise my mom and uncles at the same time. She's still doing well, inspiring her family to this day. She especially inspires me.

And I'm thinking about my mom, who unflinchingly supports me, and has been there for me through thick and thin. She also beat the hell out of ovarian cancer a few years ago. I look forward to being a wonderful mother and a cancer-killing survivor like her.

My family gives me courage. 

My belief in myself -- my strength, will, and determination -- gives me confidence.

My faith in God gives me peace.

My friends, my OMM family, and my dog Winston give me unbridled joy.

My Blue Devils and the great Coach K give me inspiration.

My husband gives me true happiness.

Your support gives me a full heart and a big smile on my face.

And my surgeon will give me a new life...tomorrow.

A Trio of Cancer-Killing Songs

As the time for my royal beat down of "the cancer" grows ever closer, my cancer-killing soundtrack has expanded. Without further ado, here are a trio of songs that keep me pumped up and calmed down.

"All I Do Is Win" - DJ Khaled (feat. T-Pain, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg, and Rick Ross)

The title says it all, doesn't it? This high-energy hip hop song makes me feel great and reminds me that I've always come out on top in my life, and this battle with cancer will be no different. They played this song while I was at the Duke game just last week, and I had to choke back a tear or two as the Cameron Crazies bounced around to the song. Cancer should've really gotten the memo before it messed with me. Stupid cancer -- don't you know that all I do is win, fool?

"I'm Still Standing" - Elton John

I've always been a huge Elton John fan (I memorized the lyrics to "Levon" when I was about four years old, and had a poster of Marilyn Monroe put up in my childhood room after I heard "Candle in the Wind"). This song, in particular, has always inspired me to not only achieve in the face of adversity, but to laugh in adversity's face. These lyrics, in particular, are dedicated to "the cancer":

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

"I'm Not Worried" - Moby

From the title itself, it's pretty clear why I love this song -- because it's the truth. I'm not worried about this diagnosis, I'm not worried about surgery, and I'm not worried about whatever pain or discomfort I may feel. There's no room for worry when you're competing and trying to win. Worrying only distracts you from putting in what it takes to win. These lyrics, which are repeated throughout the song, are my favorite:

All 'round me, burdens
seem to fall
I'm not worried at all
I'm not worried at all

To review, just so we have it all in one place, here's my complete cancer-killing soundtrack. Find these songs on your iPod or favorite Internet service and be sure to rock out to them on Thursday.

WunderGlo's Cancer-Killing Soundtrack

1) All the Above - Maino (feat. T-Pain)
2) Sigh No More - Mumford & Sons
3) Beautiful - Carole King
4) Not Afraid - Eminem
5) All I Do Is Win - DJ Khaled (feat. T-Pain, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg, Rick Ross)
6) I'm Still Standing - Elton John
7) I'm Not Worried - Moby

Time to Focus

After all of the celebrating (birthday parties, holiday parties, pre-surgery parties), traveling (Seattle, Portland, Santa Barbara, Monterey, New York City, D.C., Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee, North Carolina) and crazily fun times, I'm taking time this week to slow down and get down to business. Don't get me wrong -- I'm still living life in super-HDTV and having lots of fun, but it's time to focus, to get myself mentally, spiritually, and physically prepared for the main event on Thursday.

You see, ever since the day I learned of my diagnosis, I've been preparing for Thursday morning. Throughout all the fun and games of the last few months (and I mean that without a hint of sarcasm and, if you've followed my daily adventures, you know it), there was always a goal, a challenge, an endpoint -- my upcoming surgery. While it's not THE endpoint -- the CT scan results showing not a speck of "the cancer" (otherwise known as "NED" or "No Evidence of Disease" to cancer aficionados) is the actual endpoint -- it's a huge, huge step. Dr. Sugarbaker will pick out every visible speck of "the cancer," the heated chemo will kill every baby cell and baby's baby cell of “the cancer,” and at the end of the day, I'll be pretty darn NED. The three months of chemo that will follow surgery are a victory lap, really.

My training, my preparation for Thursday morning has manifested itself in many different ways -- my total diet overhaul, intense workouts at Educogym, acupuncture sessions with Mary Ellen, reiki sessions with Aymee's mom, painting, meditation, prayer, blog writing, traveling, celebrating, chilling out with friends and family, and meeting Coach K. It was all preparation. It was all priming my body, mind, and spirit for the challenge of this major surgery and the even larger challenge of beating the hell out of Stage IV cancer. And now, just days before the big day, I couldn't be more ready. My body is healthy and fit, nourished by healthy foods at every meal and stronger than ever. My mind is focused like a prize fighter's -- welcoming the challenge calmly and self-assuredly, prepared for surgery and post-surgery, knowing that I am really, really ready for this. And my spirit is more buoyant than it's ever been -- my heart is overflowing with love and gratitude. The support that I've received from everyone -- my three nurses and the rest of my loving family, classmates and teachers from Kindergarten to law school, former teammates and coaches, friends and parents of friends and grandparents of friends -- has supercharged my spirit in a way that is hard to explain in words. Your support gives me confidence -- supreme confidence -- in myself, and in the fact that I will prevail. For that, I'll be forever thankful for all of the beautiful people in my life. In no small part, you have helped give me the power and the courage not only to wage war on "the cancer," but to get through each battle while feeling joy, peace, and utter happiness.

I've got my game face on, everyone. I'm ready for battle with a strong body, a stronger mind, and the strongest spirit.

Bouncing Back

Today, I woke up like a child on Christmas Day. Duke was playing at Madison Square Garden, and Coach K and his assistant, Gerry, had hooked me up with tickets. I hadn’t even realized that the Duke team and I would be in New York City at the same time until my Duke bud Rosie reminded me of the Duke/St. John’s game scheduled for Sunday afternoon. I told Coach and Gerry that I’d be in the city on Sunday afternoon, and that’s all it took -- we were set. Before the game, I hung out with my old Duke pal (and Chemistry 11 lab partner), Eric, and his crew, happily catching up with them and anticipating a great Duke victory. The clock struck 12:30, and it was time to go -- my nurses and I walked up to Will Call and got our tickets, tickets that secured us some very sweet seats in the Garden. I was a very happy camper. 

And then, the game started.

We didn’t play great today (although Nolan racked up 30-something points and our other senior captain and future NBA star, Kyle Singler, added 20). But something was off from the get-go. Our defense wasn’t tenacious enough, our three pointers weren’t falling, and every time we had a chance to change the momentum of the game, we just couldn’t do it.

It was a bitter loss for me, because any Duke loss is a bitter one for me. The fact that a little over half the Garden consisted of loud and proud St. John’s fans didn’t make it easier. The fact that the St. John’s fans stormed the court after the game, reveling in their good fortune at beating Duke, didn’t make it easier, either.

When you love your team, watching them lose -- and watching them lose in a less-than-inspiring fashion, is painful. You want the best for your team and you hate to see them fail to fulfill their potential. You hate to see the opposing team's fans revel in their failure. You want your team to be great all the time. You want them to win all the time. Since I love my team so much, I feel all of these things even more strongly.

After the game, I was still simmering when I started thinking about losing. It’s something that I avoid at all costs. If you know anything about me, you know this fact. I hate losing. But the truth is, you can learn more after dealing with some adversity than you would if things were always hunky-dory.

I thought of my own life, and how spectacular and effortlessly hunky-dory it’s been. I’m not going to say that I didn’t have any struggle in my life, but the last 15 or so years have been pretty darn perfect. And while things were going perfectly, I never actually learned to take care of myself. My focus was always my education, my career, my relationships, and my future goals -- but I never took stock of my diet, exercise regimen, sleep schedule, or stress levels. The adversity of cancer -- while (arguably) a nastier foe than any college basketball team -- helped me look at myself critically. It helped me identify my weaknesses and where I’d fallen short in life, and inspired me to change certain aspects of my life. In short, cancer helped me become a better person. And now that I'm a better person, I won't ever let it get the upper hand again.

As I enter this week, the week that includes my life-saving surgery, I will be thinking about my Blue Devils, knowing as well as I know anything that they, and I, will bounce back from any and all adversity. In fact, we'll come back even stronger, as a result. Because you can’t keep champions down.

New York, New York

As usual, New York City delivered a fun and memorable time for your pal WunderGlo. I'm never going to betray my love for Los Angeles by calling NYC the best city in the world, but, man, it's a spectacular place.

We got into the city around 5pm, after sleeping in mightily at my mother-in-law's place in New Jersey. As we drove into the city, amazed by the huge piles of snow that lined all the sidewalks, we realized we were pretty hungry and started searching for some yummy vegan eats. When you're in New York City, you can eat anything you want and it's bound to be delicious, so when my best friend Rhett suggested that we meet up at Pure Food and Wine, we happily accepted. Pure Food and Wine, like 105degrees in Oklahoma City and Cru in L.A., is a raw vegan restaurant that makes green juice, delectable entrees, and sinfully good desserts that are actually good for you. I ordered the spinach/cucumber/apple/kale juice and the spanikopita and was beyond pleased.

Who knew that eating so many veggies could actually be enjoyable? The pre-diagnosis me certainly wouldn't have believed it. The pre-diagnosis me avoided vegetables, loved carbs, ordered a cheese plate wherever she went, ate juicy steak after juicy steak, and swore by a monthly Happy Meal (if not monthly, bi-weekly). Oh, how things change. I'm healthier and happier now, but I don't fault my pre-diagnosis self for living so high on the hog. My taste buds have plenty of memories of so-bad-it's-good food to look back on now that I'm living clean. And it's not like the pumpkin cheesecake and chocolate caramel tart we shared for dessert doesn't provide enough indulgence as it is.

Honestly, becoming a vegan pretty much overnight has been easy. Easier than chemo, and chemo was pretty easy.

We followed our culinary adventure by taking in La Cage Au Folles, the musical otherwise known as The Birdcage, starring Kelsey Grammer. I'm not afraid to admit that I've had a little crush on Kelsey Grammer for over 15 years now, and I loved seeing him perform live. After the show (which was incredibly entertaining), I stuck around for Kelsey and got him to autograph my playbill. When we chatted briefly, I played it cool and didn't mention my crush, but I was smiling from ear to ear on the subway ride back to our car.

All in all, an awesome day. And the party doesn't stop. I'll be back in the city tomorrow for a very memorable time, but I won't tell you what I'm up to just yet. A little suspense is a good thing, right?