Happy Weekend!!

The chemo blues are gone and I've been enjoying the unbearably gorgeous weather here in L.A. this weekend. Went to the Dodger game on Friday night with Tim, spent yesterday in Santa Monica with Will and my friend Anna (and Winston), and will spend this evening at the incomparable Hollywood Bowl. The sun is shining, the iced chamomile tea is refreshing, and I'm feeling great. Life is good, dear readers. I hope you're soaking up life in super-HD this weekend, too.

Inspiration From My Favorite Writer

With all this talk about hitting the gym and playing basketball, you might have forgotten that your pal WunderGlo is something of a bookworm. My mom taught me how to read when I was just three years old, and I've been hooked ever since. Naturally, I majored in English while at Duke and I consider myself a pretty serious reader. Some of my favorite writers include Ernest Hemingway, Vladimir Nabokov, Kazuo Ishiguro, and Michael Cunningham.

But nobody can compare to my favorite writer of all time, Joyce Carol Oates.

Joyce Carol Oates is a brilliant and prolific writer, and has written in practically every genre known to man. And what she writes about -- the complicated relationships between people, the visceral and sometimes disturbing way we hurt and care for each other, and the struggle between right and wrong that defines our humanity -- has always mesmerized and intrigued me. I'm not one of those people who likes light comedies or easy reading - I like to get my butt kicked and my mind and heart challenged by art. And Joyce Carol Oates's work always does the job. She has helped make me delve deeper and think harder about what we are as humans than any artist I've encountered.

The minute I had the opportunity to meet her, I did. During my senior year at Duke, I ran the Blackburn Literary Festival and brought Joyce Carol Oates to campus for two wonderful days. In those days, she met with students, gave a brilliant reading, signed countless books for her Duke fans, and participated in a panel discussion. And I also got to spend a lot of time with her and realized that we had much more in common than the fact that she wanted to write about what she wrote about and I wanted to read it. It was magical, bonding with my favorite writer and feeling a kinship that I never would have expected. I always say that spending those days with JCO were among the best of my life, and despite all the great days I've had, it still rings true.

I mention Oates not just to recount great times, but because she was at the Los Angeles Public Library (the Central branch in Downtown L.A.) last night and I had the pleasure of meeting her again. Though seven years have passed and so much has happened since then, there we were again, shaking hands -- the brilliant writer and her most devoted fan. And despite the day-long nagging headache that felt like a swarm of bees had invaded my brain, when she read from her new memoir, A Widow's Story, my head cleared. I let her words stir my mind and soul, and suddenly, those chemo side effects weren't noticeable at all.

It's amazing, the connection you can have with people. So much of the beauty of this cancer-killing adventure has been the connections I've made with people - whether deepening bonds with family and friends, or new relationships with doctors and nurses and fellow cancer warriors. So much of the joy and strength I possess is because of those connections.

What Joyce Carol Oates's work has helped to teach me, and the rest of my life has made truer than true is this: we are all connected, and we are all in this life together. The journey may be hard -- like Oates, you may lose your spouse suddenly and after 46 years of marriage, or like me, you may be fighting for your life in the face of a deadly disease -- but the reward of life and living, along with and among your fellow man, is always worth it.

Hip Hop Music, Acupuncture, and Golf

So how did I shake my chemo side effects? You got it: with hip hop music, acupuncture, and golf.

This morning, I awoke with an emptied bag o' chemo and was detached from the needle in my chest soon after. As is always the case on Wednesdays after a Monday chemo session, I felt a little headachy and gross, but this Wednesday seemed like it would be better than most. 

I slowly had some breakfast (my appetite was decent but not great), took my first shower since Sunday night (showering with the bag o' chemo is more work than it's worth), and loaded myself into my car for the drive to the Palisades to get an acupuncture treatment with Mary Ellen. I wasn't feeling fantastic when I first got into the car, but I soon felt my energy level rising. It was, in no small part, because of hip hop stars Nicki Minaj, Drake, Lil' Wayne, Chris Brown, and Busta Rhymes. There's something about hip hop music that turns melody, beats, and rhyming into pure adrenaline, and I felt it when I listened to the radio this afternoon. In just a couple of minutes, I started to feel better and instead of reclining in my seat, I was bobbing my head and dancing. I've always loved hip hop music, but now I've got even more of a reason to revel in it. Hip hop helps eliminate chemo side effects! 

I felt even more refreshed after acupuncture with Mary Ellen. She's been working on a couple of spots near my ribs for the last several sessions, and I haven't really been able to feel anything there. This area near my ribcage, where Dr. Sugarbaker did most of his pulling and pushing, had felt tender and numb at the same time. Today, though, that region felt much more healed and not numb anymore -- in fact, I felt more in touch with my entire body during today's session which was pretty exciting for me. I left Mary Ellen's feeling even more energized and almost completely normal.

Even though I felt well enough to hoof it to the gym, I decided that I'd do a little pitch and putt golfing with Will instead. In the last hours of sunlight, Will and I hit the mini-links and did a little golfing. Being outdoors, in the crisp air and amidst the beautiful trees and landscaped lawns, gave me the final boost that got me back to normal. I golfed pretty well considering that it had been years since I'd picked up a club, and the friendly competition between the hubby and I was enough to make me feel like my old, rough and tumble self. By the last hole, I was soaking up the beauty of our surroundings, the satisfaction of being active, and the promise of an even better tomorrow.

And throughout the day, as I felt better and better, I remembered my favorite lyric from Nicki Minaj's "Moment for Life," the song partially responsible for buoying my spirits and body today:

No, I'm not lucky -- I'm blessed. Yes.

I'm with you, Nikki. Definitely blessed.

Feeling Better

After feeling pretty terrible yesterday and wondering what this morning would bring, I was pleasantly surprised when I woke up from a long sleep. I didn't feel like a million bucks, but I was much improved. Big headache was gone, I wasn't nauseous, and I had an appetite. Nice.

In an attempt to nurse my reserves of energy rather than spending them (I'm trying to get better at this), I took it easy today. The goal is to get back to the gym tomorrow but I'm not going to push myself if I don't feel totally up to it. After all, you've gotta walk before you can run.

This would seem to make good sense, but it's not always apparent to me.

You see, dear readers, when I feel less than 100% during my chemo weeks, I don't naturally take my foot off the gas and embrace rest. I naturally want to push myself harder and claw my way out of the gross feeling that has invaded my body. This is how I used to play sports, never sitting out a game despite ankle sprains or broken fingers. I don't want to miss out on a moment of action, on the court or in life, because I'm feeling less than stellar.

I'm learning how to be kinder and gentler to myself these days, a lesson that will serve me well when I get back to my normally-scheduled life. Always pushing at full force isn't the best way to treat my body. In fact, it's pretty bad.

So for now, I'm going to sit back, relax, hydrate, and let my body work through this chemo and restore itself back to awesome shape in the next couple of days.

The beauty of the human body is its innate ability to heal, and I'm blessed with a pretty determined one.

Welcome to the Club

Up until now, I've always felt like I was getting off easy with these chemo treatments. Side effects were minimal, and I didn't lose one lock of hair nor did I ever feel nauseous. Vomiting was never a part of my chemo experience. I knew that I was getting off pretty easy.

That changed today. After my treatment ended, I felt really cold and sleepy and generally gross. I bundled up in a blanket and snoozed all the way home. I proceeded to curl up in bed and get really toasty. When I woke up about an hour later, I lost my lunch. Boom, right there on the bedroom floor. I credit myself for keeping the incident as controlled as possible, and I felt much better after upchucking. I still have a nagging headache now, and I'm still resting in bed, but at least I've got this new badge of courage. I always knew I was tough, but that toughness was challenged today. And I'm happy with how I responded.